weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
