Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
