It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize