it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
