Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
