Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
