I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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