That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
