Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
