Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
