Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
