We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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