i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
