and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have feelings that need drinking.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
