It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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