I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
