On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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