i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
