My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You ate ashes out of my bong
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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