im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
