yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize