I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
