This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
