i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
