Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
