I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
