Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
