I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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