You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
