i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
