a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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