you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We had to coat check the pizza.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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