I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
