just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize