your parents love me but you hate me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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