FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
