if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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