break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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