i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize