i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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