It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
