I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
