Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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