So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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