Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
