I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
