so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
