Umm I'm too high to move.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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