There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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