I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
