It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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