I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize