Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am naked and annoyed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize