another moral hangover. fuck.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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