I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
