It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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