I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
