just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what day is it and did you see me today?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
