Having a random hookup so left but love u
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
